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Faith + Obedience Pt. I
It all began July 23, 2019. That was when my world fell apart. For the last 25 years of so, it was just my mom and me. Oh yes, we have family that was accessible, but daily it was just the two of us taking care of and watching out for one another. My identity was wrapped up in being a good provider, a good daughter, and when she needed it a good caretaker when her health was not the greatest. There was no Lori, and there was nothing else that Lori allowed herself to be. Oh, she had dreams, but those dreams were put on the back burner because I had a role that was more important.
July 23, 2019, started as any other day. I was on medical leave from work because I had shoulder surgery. Mom hadn’t been feeling well for a few weeks, and after many doctors’ visits, no one could figure anything out. On this day her pain became worse, and she asked that I take her to the hospital (if you knew my mom, you’d know she never asked to go to the hospital.) At that point I knew she was not feeling well. On day 16 we learned that she had Leukemia; 3 days later she passed.
I remember standing in the hospital hallway with two of my siblings and saying, “I am an orphan!” What a statement to be made by a 50-year-old woman, but in that moment that is what came out of the depths of my soul. “Orphan – a child deprived by death of one or usually both parents; one deprived of some protection of advantage.” www. merriam-webster.com.
What do I do now? Where do I go, and who am I now? I no longer have a responsibility as caretaker, and I no longer have the title of provider or daughter.
Fast forward three years later. I found a good therapist who helped me walk some things out, and gave me a lot to think about, but I started speaking to Holy Spirit again. Throughout my walk with Christ my hearts cry was that I wanted to no longer work for the world, but I want to work within the church (catch the revelation.) I asked this of Him because I felt that was the only way to give back to Him all that He has given to me. I didn’t do this when my mom was alive because I (putting my trust in myself) had to take care of her, and I couldn’t do that without having a job (how arrogant was I.)
Last year, Holy Spirit said to me to quit my job at the end of the year. I didn’t because I was being vetted for a position that I had been training for and desiring for years. I was so close to that dream job being mine; everything that I have worked for in over 25 years was about to be realized. SO, I ignored Holy Spirit (disobedience) and remained on my job (WOW, I’ve never vocalized those words until now.) The position was denied by the boss. Someone was fighting for that position to be approved so that I may be placed in it.
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Faith Walk
Today, as I am sitting here writing this sixth post since it all began, I am hearing my voice asking GOD why am I doing this? Why am I posting, why am I sharing, why am I wasting my time with something that people aren’t interested in? You see I am on this “Spiritual Journey,” this “Faith Walk” as I continue to call it, but there are days like today where doubt is entering my mind.
Transparent Moment: As I sit in someone else’s home, sleeping in someone else’s bed, knowing that there is a deadline that I am coming upon, I do so with tears filling my eyes and running down my cheeks. I smile when I am supposed to because I can’t allow others to see that this strong woman of faith is afraid. Before I began typing, I cried out to ABBA for help and direction, for leadership and for guidance. He took me to the book of Joshua 1:9 “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” As I read that scripture, I didn’t just read it, but I heard it as well. I heard this powerful, authoritative voice of love remind me of who HE is, and who I am to HIM.
I am in the midst of not knowing where my next is coming from, but with all certainty knowing that there is a next. No home of my own (I gave that up), no job to call my own (I gave that up too), but there is a GOD that I can call my own. He is my Creator, my restorer, my friend, and my Father. HIS spirit lives within me to make the right decisions. As Proverbs 3:5-6 remind me, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, And lean not to your own understanding: In all your ways acknowledge HIM, and HE shall direct your path.”
So, as I collect myself and write, this letter not only comes as a love letter but also a letter of repentance. Repentance for allowing my own understanding to overshadow HIS knowledge.
Many of you who read this do so out of slightly obligated or maybe even sorrow because I have limited to no family here. Please don’t! God ordered this move for me; this move from friends, family and a job that I truly loved to a purpose.
My comfortability in NY, my life in NY only brought glory to myself. I did what I wanted to do, when I wanted to do it, but living for Christ has changed my motives and the decisions I make. You see, life is no longer just about me, but it is about the people that will hear these truths of my life and no longer feel so condemned. My move here has nothing to do with me, but everything to do with HIM! I am just the vessel that allows this message to flow freely. I am the body that has been through so much, but no longer feels ashamed about what she has been through.
I will come out of this on the other side giving GOD glory, as Ps 23:4 tells me: Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: For you are with me: Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.” You must understand that He is “the good shepherd (John 10:14), and the two things that a shepherd carries to protect his sheep are a rod and a staff. His rod is to fight off the predators that come to attack his sheep, and his staff is what he uses to guide his sheep.
I will come out of this, and I will prevail because I am not alone. My doubters (those in the world and those in the church) will be astounded at what God is doing in my life. It’s funny that GOD would have my write about church folk being surprised, but it’s true. So, until then, I will rest in the commandment GOD has given me in Joshua 1:9, but instead I will hear my name instead. So, until then, I will remind myself that although I walk through a valley where there is nothing but death, there is nothing for me to fear because I am not alone. And, until then I will not listen to my own understanding, but I will take on the knowledge of GOD.
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MATTHEW 6:33 “SEEK HIM FIRST”!
This is fresh and real. This will be posted immediately after writing. I know a person who has, for the past 13 years, been a friend, a mentor, a spiritual advisor, and also a pain in the butt when I am in my feelings, but when I am being led by Holy Spirit, I can receive a word from God that has been given to me and also a rebuke if I am doing, feeling, or saying something that goes against HIS word.
As I sit here writing this, Holy Spirit brought me back to the word of God, which is one of her favorite scriptures:
1 Peter 4:12 & 13, “Beloved, do not think it strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened to you; 13 but rejoice to the extent that you partake of Christ’s sufferings, that when His glory is revealed, you may also be glad with exceeding joy.”
I’ve been through a lot in the past six years. From the loss of my mom, leaving my job (a career that I had for more than 30 years), and giving up the place we (my mom and I) lived in (rent went up). I didn’t lose faith in God completely, but I allowed the spirit of heaviness (depression) to overtake me. I have been without my own place to live since 2022 (living on the kindness of friends and family).
I struggled! Like, seriously struggled! The first year, I couldn’t find a way to reach God because of the grief, sadness, and depression that lived within me. I allowed them to rent the space in my temple, and regrettably, put Holy Spirit in the closet. Thank God for the Christian therapist I had. She was both the physical trainer for my mind and also the biblical trainer to remind me of the word of God.
I struggled, and though I am still not where I want to be, I am no longer in the place that held me hostage to my own thoughts and beliefs about myself. I was able to get back into the Word of God for myself. I was able to seek, pray, and hear from God myself, where I was reminded that in the valley, I did not walk alone. Once I understood that, I was able to move differently, and more freely than I had.
In these 6 years of missing my mom, and 3 years of being without my own, the glory of God and His plans for me were being revealed. Jeremiah 29:11
I am on a better path, with a greater focus on Him and not on myself. I seek Him daily, and when I believe that I did not seek Him in truth, I go back repent and start all over again. I am on a tour of gratitude, and in that gratitude, I realize that suffering has every right to come to me as it did my Saviour, but His word never fails; it “does not return to Him void”, and because I sought Him good things are coming my way. If life starts to tell you contrary to what the word says, SEEK HIM!
SELAH (Think on this!)
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“THE WORD WORKS WHEN YOU WORK THE WORD!”
This is a statement that I learned from the Pastors of Relevant Church in Virginia Beach, VA. What exactly does that mean? From the three years that I spent under that ministry, I learned that in order for you to become proficient in something, you have to apply that something to your life daily.
The example that they used frequently was that of working out. To have the body that you desire, or that will be beneficial to your health, there are some things that you have to do. Eat better, work on your body by exercising every muscle in your body to get the best benefit.
The same is true for your spirit. For your spirit man to grow, there are some exercises that you must do for Him to grow stronger. Pray before you begin reading the Bible. Ask Holy Spirit to give you a clear understanding of what you read and where to start. Where in Your word should I start? If you are going through something specific, there are scriptures that you need to seek, and stay with them until you have received an answer. Your answer may come in your prayer time, or He may send someone to you with a confirming word. Study the word of God for yourself.
“2 Timothy 2:15 New King James Version
15 Be diligent to present yourself approved to God, a worker who does not need to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth.
I am working on both. Strengthening the real me, which is my spirit, so that He will give me the strength, discipline, and instruction on how to get my physical space healthier.
1 Cor 6:19-20 New King James Version
19 “Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own? 20 For you were bought at a price; therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God’s.”
I have been fasting the first seven days of each month (called by God), and because my focus has shifted from my strength to His strength, I was able to drop 4 pounds in 7 days. Eating healthier and moving my body.
“The word works, when you work the word!”
SELAH
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How Are You Holding Up?
2025 has been a year, and we are only seven months in. Not sure if I’ve mentioned in my previous post, but I come from a family of 9; 5 boys and 4 girls. In January 2011, I lost my first brother, who was the oldest boy of the family. In April 2016, the second youngest passed away. By the time they got him to the hospital, it was too late.
Here we are in July 2025, and the third of five has passed. His passing occurred on the last Sunday of the month of May. It was expected, but that doesn’t mean it hurts any less.
Three out of five brothers are gone. How am I holding up? I’m not sure. One thing I do know is that I take it one day at a time. I have looked at so many photos that my mom kept. Photos of childhood memories. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t come from a perfect family, we had issues, but even in those issues, the love for my brothers was there, is there. As I watch his adult children process, it brings back memories of when my dad passed when I was 19 years old.
I take each moment day by day. I cry when I feel like it, I pray without ceasing, and I allow my Heavenly Father to minister to me during those times.
How Am I Doing? Today, as I write this, I am doing well. So, my prayer and wish for those of you who are not doing well; take it one day at a time. Know that there is someone out there who is thinking about you and is concerned for your mental health and your well-being. Please know that this blog is not just about me, but it is for all of you.
I can only write about my story and my emotions, but if somewhere in this story you hear or see yourself in it, please feel free to reach out. I am not a licensed therapist, but I have connections to many. What I am is a woman chosen by GOD to help heal those who are in pain. What I am is an advocate for those who do not feel like they have the tools or the knowledge to advocate for themselves. What I am is one of the Authentically Anointed daughters of The Most High GOD!
HE is here if you want to meet with HIM. HE is here if you want to give your life to HIM!
HE IS HERE!
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STILL BELIEVING BY FAITH! PT 2
BUT I’VE LET SOME DOUBT CREEP IN!
It has been 5 months since my last post. Back in November of 2022 I shared even more and told you at that time that I was on this journey with GOD. I quit a job in a field that I have been a part of for over 30 years. I was in the process of a promotion for the next level to my career in doing what I have a heart to do, which is to help people.
Even though my situation has not been the best, I still tried to keep myself uplifted. I failed many times and allowed my emotions to get the flesh of me, instead of allowing Holy Spirit to use the best of me. In that time where I was listening to my flesh and the voices of others, i accepted the first job that called me. I knew this job was not for me. It took away from the free time that I prayed for, and the salary was well beneath what I’ve ever made (outside of my first job many, many years ago:)
I said yes because I was desperate to have an income to support myself, desperate to have my own place again, but most of all desperate to shut up the voices in my ears and in my head who said you won’t survive on your own.
I wrote this not to receive pity, but to keep you informed. If I believe that GOD has given me this platform to share myself by being authentic, then I must tell you where I am in my journey.
GOD is still in my life. HE is not the problem; I am. Because people who say they represent him have hurt me, I have gotten angry at HIM. Never denouncing my faith, but asking the words “why have you forsaken me?”
After a conversation with a friend and some prayer where I asked Holy Spirit to reveal things to me, I received my answer. I keep asking GOD to give me everything that HE has promised me, but have I given HIM what HE has asked from me? I prayed earlier this week that we all have a kingdom assignment that in the end i supposed to help the world better. Where is the evidence of my kingdom assignment? Where are the souls that HE has asked me to save through salvation. Where are the prayers that I’ve promised to pray for people to help get them through (“there is no distance in the spirit.”) At what point do I stop worrying about myself, and start worrying about them?
In the words of the Apostle that I sit under “I have a soul problem!” I still pray (though not as frequently as I used to, I still praise, but do I declare HIS promises? Do I declare HIS word? Do I take the focus off of myself and focus on someone else?
During the conversation with that friend, Holy Spirit reminded me of someone I have just come to know and the difficulty she is going through right now. Her home caught on fire and she has lost everything. I do not know if she is a believer or not, but if HE showed her to me and said she is suffering, that means she doesn’t know and understand HIM like I do.
ELOHIM, I come before repenting of my sins, and I ask YOUR forgiveness for my disobedience to YOU, and my failure to do what you have required of me. Help me to seek YOU by seeking YOUR word. Help me “seek first the Kingdom” for that is the only way to find HIS righteousness, holiness and HIS instruction. Always remember we are stronger when HE is with us, than we are without HIM.
SELAH & SHALOM!
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STILL BELIEVING BY FAITH!
Hello Friends, it’s me Authentically Anointed. Many of you remember me speaking about this faith journey that I have been on with GOD since March 21, 2022, and March 31, 2022. That was my last working day with my 16-year career as a city employee that I’ve had since relocating and my last day living at my own place. It has been 8 months! I’ve been praying, at many times I’ve fasted, been reading the word of GOD and no manifestation in the way that I believe it should have appeared.
Newsflash folks, GOD has kept me and sustained me during this time. I have lost nothing. HE has sustained me with friends who have offered their homes to me, through a Kingdom family that has poured into me through prayers and sowing into my growth. I will not lie to you; I have had some moments where I have allowed fear and doubt to creep into my pretty little head. I’ve repeatedly asked GOD was I clear in hearing you. Is this really what you wanted for my life? To know me is to know that I am one of the most logical people you would know, and if it does not make sense, it should not be done.
Really how much sense does it make to leave a perfectly good job? A job in which a promotion was months away. A job where your co-workers and supervisor were great people. A job that allowed you to work remotely when needed? Who does that? Well, I’ll tell you who does that. A woman who for years has asked The Living GOD, The I AM, El Roi (the GOD who sees me), put me in a place where I can work for YOU! Open doors to ministry so that I may pour out to the world all that has been poured into me. Use me so that YOUR glory will be revealed. A woman who knew that people (family & friends) would alienate her, think she was crazy or just simply cut her off. You see my walk with Jesus has not been a long one (July 27, 2011), but it has been a significant one. Seizures, a stroke, the loss of two brothers and finally the loss of my mom all in the span of 7 years. I hit broken and I hit rock bottom, and I even gave up on GOD, but HE never gave up on me “For He Himself has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” Hebrews 13:5b.
When I say gave up, I mean I stopped praying, I stopped asking, I stopped seeking, but I never denounced HIM so Holy Spirit was still able to minister to me in the midst of my silence. “What do you think? If a man has a hundred sheep, and one of them goes astray, does he not leave the ninety-nine and go to the mountains to seek the one that is straying?” Matthew 18:12.
I just want to encourage someone as I was just encouraged this week. You are close so the fiery darts are repetitive coming faster and faster, but if you hold up the shield of faith which is the word of GOD, they cannot and will not hit you. Stay the course; continue dwelling in the secret place GOD has set you in where you meet daily. Stay in the posture of thanksgiving, stay in the posture of gratitude, and continue to confess those prayers and petitions that line up with HIS word. I promise you that the harvest GOD has for you and for me will pour out from the windows of heaven. Where we are now cannot even hold what we are about to receive. (Malachi 3:10).
Blessings of strength to everyone who knows HIM!
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It’s Not Over Until GOD Says It’s Over!
Be prepared for the waiting period. It is not that GOD is bi-polar and doesn’t know what HE has already planned for our lives, but sometimes HE needs us to truly sit and wait patiently.
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek His will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take.” Proverbs 3:5-6 NLT.
Seven months into this faith walk. I won’t lie, sometimes I have gotten frustrated and annoyed. I go before the Lord with more complaints and less praise. More troubles and less thanksgiving, but GOD has remained faithful to me. I’ve had the opportunity to realize that sitting and waiting isn’t the same as Netflix and chill. This was not an opportunity to sit on my behind and do nothing.
“For as the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without works is dead also.” James 2:26 NKJV
So, I’ve stayed in the word, I’ve prayed as effective and fervently as I know how. I’ve inquired to GOD what my next steps should be, and then I shut my mouth, opened my spiritual ears and waited for his response and man, did HE have much to say.
After being rebuked (yes, GOD has the right to chastise HIS children just as any loving parent corrects theirs) He began to download what is next. I began to question as to how this was going to happen when I again have no steady income.
“Then the Lord answered me and said: 2 “Write the vision and make it plain on tablets, that he may run who reads it. 3 For the vision is yet for an appointed time; but at the end it will speak, and it will not lie.” Habakkuk 2:2-3 NKJV
I wrote, but this time I did not keep the vision to myself. I confessed it out of my mouth to those who have to experience, and things are now happening. The finances needed are being sown for the door that has been opened. Information is being poured into me from those who have already walked that path, and connections are being made.
In the end, GOD did not forget about HIS promise or HIS word that says:
5 “Let your conduct be without covetousness; be content with such things as you have. For He Himself has said “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” So we may boldly say: “The Lord is my helper; I will not fear. What can man do to me?”
It’s not over until GOD says it’s over, and according to my spiritual ears, HE is still talking.
SELAH & SHALOM
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Disheartened but not Defeated!
This morning started off a little rough. It felt like doors were starting to close around me, and I just didn’t have the strength I needed to push them back from crushing me. I reached out to a small circle group to keep me lifted up in prayer. I consecrated myself, and I even took communion this morning. I started making confessions over specific areas of my life and sealing those confessions in the name of Jesus. After repenting and crucifying my flesh, I was able to shut my natural ears and began to hear from Holy Spirit. I worshipped (with music), but I also worshipped in HIS word. I wrote down some confessions to GOD, but I also received the vision that HE gave to me (still seeking HIM as to what that means.)
In the midst of all of this I began taking myself through the Bible seeking for what I needed to fight the battle of today. The beautiful spirit that runs our small circle sent out a group message encouraging us to “come boldly to the throne of our gracious GOD.” Hebrews 4:16 (, but in that reading (always confirm for yourself), Holy Spirit led me to Hebrews 11 which is all about faith. I keep saying that I am on a faith journey, so what better to encourage me than the scripture on faith. It wasn’t just the reading about it, but the reminder in Hebrews 11:6 “But without faith it is impossible to please HIM, for he who comes to GOD must believe that HE is, and that HE is a rewarder of those who diligently seek HIM.”
As I meditated on that word today, I begin asking questions, or better yet outlining to HIM all that I’ve already done to prove my faithfulness to HIM. Fast forward some hours into my day, I was reading a book called “Powerful People Praying Together” by Pastor Deborah Grant, and in the book, she made the statement “powerful people who pray must stay prepared and fully dressed (Grant 35). Can you say WOW! the Book of Acts in the 12th Chapter talks about the Apostle Peter being in jail, not only was he in jail, but he was chained and nestled neatly between two guards. An angel comes and taps Peter telling him to get up, it’s time to leave this place (prison). This is where my wow moments happens; the angel says, “Gird yourself and tie on your sandals” “put on your garment and follow me” (YouVersion Holy Bible, LIFE. Church, Book of Acts Chapter 12 Verse 8).
I asked others for prayer (which is not a bad thing), but the angel of the Lord told Peter to prepare yourself for action (gird), put on your clothes and shoes and follow him.
The moral of this post and that scripture is that you have to be prepared to go into the battle that you are facing. No soldier prepares for battle naked! Although I asked for other to keep me lifted in prayer, I had to prepare myself for the battle that I am facing. Apostle Peter did not fight this battle on his own, but he had to be dressed for it. We must get dressed by securing ourselves in “The Whole Armor of God” in Ephesians 6:11-19.
We have to stop waiting on GOD to clothe us (prepare us), and we have to take the authority given to us and clothe ourselves. It is then and only then, when we are fully clothed in the Whole Armor of God are we ready to follow HIM.
Stay ready, stay alert and stay dressed in the Armor!
Good night, God Bless, Selah and Shalom!
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Faith + Obedience: Pt II
It all began July 23, 2019. That was when my world fell apart. For the last 25 years of so, it was just my mom and me. Oh yes, we have family that was accessible, but daily it was just the two of us taking care of and watching out for one another. My identity was wrapped up in being a good provider, a good daughter, and when she needed it a good caretaker when her health was not the greatest. There was no Lori, and there was nothing else that Lori allowed herself to be. Oh, she had dreams, but those dreams were put on the back burner because I had a role that was more important.
July 23, 2019, started as any other day. I was on medical leave from work because I had shoulder surgery. Mom hadn’t been feeling well for a few weeks, and after many doctors’ visits, no one could figure anything out. On this day her pain became worse, and she asked that I take her to the hospital (if you knew my mom, you’d know she never asked to go to the hospital.) At that point I knew she was not feeling well. On day 16 we learned that she had Leukemia; 3 days later she passed.
I remember standing in the hospital hallway with two of my siblings and saying, “I am an orphan!” What a statement to be made by a 50-year-old woman, but in that moment that is what came out of the depths of my soul. “Orphan – a child deprived by death of one or usually both parents; one deprived of some protection of advantage.” www. merriam-webster.com.
What do I do now? Where do I go, and who am I now? I no longer have a responsibility as caretaker, and I no longer have the title of provider or daughter.
Fast forward three years later. I found a good therapist who helped me walk some things out, and gave me a lot to think about, but I started speaking to Holy Spirit again. Throughout my walk with Christ my hearts cry was that I wanted to no longer work for the world, but I want to work within the church (catch the revelation.) I asked this of Him because I felt that was the only way to give back to Him all that He has given to me. I didn’t do this when my mom was alive because I (putting my trust in myself) had to take care of her, and I couldn’t do that without having a job (how arrogant was I.)
Last year, Holy Spirit said to me to quit my job at the end of the year. I didn’t because I was being vetted for a position that I had been training for and desiring for years. I was so close to that dream job being mine; everything that I have worked for in over 25 years was about to be realized. SO, I ignored Holy Spirit (disobedience) and remained on my job (WOW, I’ve never vocalized those words until now.) The position was denied by the boss. Someone was fighting for that position to be approved so that I may be placed in it.
This Is Me, As I Am 